Reading thousands of pages about someone who is a better person than you can sometimes be a little exhausting. Anybody with me on this one?
The Order of the Phoenix has commenced, and once again, Harry Potter is back on Privet Street facing the torments of his stupid muggle family. Only now, he is not a defenseless little boy, but rather, a despondent teenager experiencing major Ron/Hermione-related FOMO. (I suspect more of this to come.)
Dementors pay Harry a visit as he is headed down the street with his cousin Dudley, a creature who has gleefully contributed to his undernourishment and mistreatment these past 14 years; a child who could have, with one word, successfully demanded better treatment for his cousin Harry at no cost to himself and never does; a human rubbish heap who has spent literally every day of his summer vacation assaulting smaller children with rocks and fists.
In short, we are discussing an odious person to whom Harry owes absolutely nothing and who society would unequivocally be better off without. And yet, knowing there will be hell to pay either way, Harry protects his cousin against the Dementor’s kiss. But this was not a surprise. Was it? Harry is just too perfect.
I don’t know about you people, but I would have left Big D there to his own defenses. After all, Dudley has always lived by a might-makes-right ethos. Why not let him die by the same philosophy?
Okay, I may be a little vindictive. I’ve been known to cleave to my anger for years over the most petty of grievances. But come on Harry! This kid would leave you for dead just for fun if given an opportunity. And he would certainly never put himself at risk to protect you. Ironically, it’s the slew of only bad memories that he and his family have inflicted upon you that makes you so singularly susceptible to the Dementor’s life-sucking forces.
And yet, you go and save Dudley’s little ungrateful bitch ass life. You know, some ethicists would say you did the wrong thing. Just sayin’.
Gah, this book has another 860 some pages to go. God help me.
Harry Potter Virgin 